The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts
by Asher Elric
Summary: When Harry finds an old book, Hogwarts is reminded of a past long since dead! pranks galore!Part 9! Dogs dot he stranger crap! and...was that a professor that just ran by! wow, look at Dumbledore fly!
1. Finding of Traditions

A/N – I just want to know how well this will be received by everyone! Please review and tell me if I should continue or not!

Disclaimer – I do not own!

Summary – This is the Marauders guide to life at Hogwarts! See how Harry and his friends try to keep alive the traditions of the Marauders.

_**The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts**_

_**Part 1 – Finding of Traditions**_

Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, the scar head, the muggle lover of other muggle lovers, and all around good-guy, happily bounced into the Gryffindor common room where his two best friends in the entire world were sitting about, playing a game of Wizard Chess.

"Harry? Where have you been?" Hermione asked.

"Did Filch catch you?" Ron asked, it was nine-thirty, curfew had thirty minutes ago.

"No, but look at what I found!" Harry said, waving a red, leather bound book in the air. Hermione grabbed it from him and opened it.

"There's nothing written on it," she said.

"What's so exciting about a blank book?" Ron asked, also looking at the book.

"Look closer on the front!" Harry said excitedly.

Hermione and Ron did so, in small golden letters was the emblem **_MWPP_**.

"Oh my!" Hermione gasped.

"The Marauders wrote a book? It's blank!" Ron said.

"I know! But look," Harry took the book and opened it to the first page. He tapped the page before he said – "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,"

Suddenly, words began to appear on the page!

_**Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs**_

_**Purveyors of Magical Mischief**_

_**Solemnly present…**_

_**THE MARAUDERS GUIDE TO HOGWARTS**_

_Mr. Moony would like to invite the reader to follow everything that is written on these pages._

_Mr. Padfoot would like the reader to pull as many pranks as they can on Snivellus Snake! (the greasy git!)_

_Mr. Prongs would like to Inform the reader that if any Professor's get their hands on this book, than the reader will be pranked!_

_Mr. Wormtail would like to inform the reader that there are detailed spells and charms hidden in this book to make sure that the secret shall not slip from one's mouth._

_Mr. Moony would like to remind Mr. Wormtail that those charms were put in place for Mr. Wormtail's benefit!_

_Mr. Prongs would like to also inform Mr. Wormtail that he is a retard!_

_Mr. Wormtail informs both Mr. Moony and Mr. Prongs that he would like them to bugger off! Indefinitely!_

_Mr. Padfoot would like to get on with the guide!_

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs invite Mr. Reader to turn the page…_

"Do you think that's a good idea? Remember that last journal you found? Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Don't be daft, that journal was Voldemort's, this belongs to my Dad and his friends!" Harry said.

"Turn the page!" Ron ordered, Harry did so.

_**The Rules of being a Marauder….**_

_These rules are to be followed by our very own offspring and their friends; you aren't a true Heir of the Marauders unless you do! – Padfoot_

_I agree! – Prongs_

_Stop being idiots! Both of you! If our children don't want to follow the rules than they don't have too! – Moony_

_How are we going to have girlfriends, that will be our wives if Prongs can't even get Lily to go out with him? – Wormtail_

_SHUT UP! – Moony, Prongs and Padfoot_

_**Rule 1 – Always, always make sure you have you're invisibility cloak with you!**_

_This comes in handy when vandalizing school property! – Prongs_

_Or, when you chase Mrs. Norris up a tree! – Padfoot_

_Or, when you are sneaking down to the kitchens in order to get the house elves to put a potion into the Slytherins drink come morning! – Moony_

_Moony! I can't believe that you would give our children ideas! – Prongs and Padfoot_

_Looks like you underestimated me! – Moony_

_Make sure you are very quiet too! People have a tendency of going after the strangest noises! – Wormtail_

_**Rule 2 – Never, ever get caught pranking by a Professor!**_

_We always break this rule! – Moony_

_That's because Wormtail always crashes into something! – Padfoot_

_Does not! – Wormtail_

_Does too! – Prongs_

_**Rule 3 – Always, prank the Slytherins! They deserve everything they get!**_

_Just don't do anything stupid! – Moony_

_What is that supposed to mean? – Padfoot_

_Oh? How about that time you let Snivellus find out where I went on Full Moon nights! – Moony_

_That was a mistake! – Padfoot_

_Don't worry, we forgive you…-- Prongs_

_And remember, the best way to get them is by turning them red and gold! – Wormtail_

**_Rule 4 – Use the passage behind Salazar the Brave, in order to get into the Slytherin Common room in order to easier prank the bloody house!_**

_The pass word is "Slytherin is cool!" – Moony_

_What a stupid pass word! – Prongs_

_They're Slytherins! what do you expect?— Padfoot_

_Make sure to turn something pink! – Wormtail_

_**Rule 4 – make an arce out of Malfoy/Snivellus, by using Polly Juice potion.**_

_Just make sure that you knock them out before you do so – Moony_

_Make sure to call Professor McGonagall "Minni" before the potion wears off! – Padfoot_

_Also make sure to tell everyone in the Great Hall that Gryffindor is the best HOUSE ever! – Prongs_

_Don't get caught! – Wormtail_

Harry, Ron and Hermione lapsed into a fits of laughter when they got to rule number 5. Harry knew that his father and his friends loved to play pranks, but these were ingenious!

"What do you think? Should we try that last one out?" Harry asked.

"Oh…why not! It'll be fun!" Hermione shrugged.

"Great! Harry I think I know how to do it…" Ron started, the three of them huddled around the book, snickering as they planned out their first ever prank!

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A/N – What do you think? Should I continue?


	2. The First Prank

A/N – Over holidays, I have been very slack with this fic. Since I've gotten a bit ahead with my other one(s) I figure that a time out from those will be all right. Not to mention that I have no idea's for that!

Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this part!

**_LOOKING FOR -- I need staff for my C2 archive 'A Peace of Time'. My archive deals with all sorts of Marauder fics! if you would like to be staff, or if you know of a cute/funny fic, or even a drama/adventure fic about the Marauders, please Pm me!_**

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**_Thank ye Kindly_**

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**_Poppy Cotton of Underhill_**

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_**The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts**_

_**Part 2 – The First Prank**_

"All right? Are we ready?" Harry asked Hermione; it had been just two weeks after they had found the book, they had also found a Polly Juice potion that took half the time that the real text book potion did and in so, wasted no time in getting ready for their first huge prank ever!

"You think Snape will figure it out?" Ron asked.

"Did you get the forgetfulness potion?" Hermione asked; Ron and Harry both nodded their heads in confirmation at her.

"Then Malfoy will NEVER remember," Hermione shrugged.

"This is so cool! You're Dad really did think of everything!" Ron said.

"This potion is actually Messer. Moony's idea, but yes, my Dad did think of everything," Harry smiled.

"There!" Hermione said with a look of triumph in her eyes.

"Now all we have to do is get Malfoy," Ron said.

"Oh Haaarrrry!" a wailing voice called, it was moaning myrtle who appeared in front of Harry, batting her eye lids.

"Malfoy is on his way down this hall, you had better hurry," she said. Harry and Ron bound out of the bathroom, and Hermione thanked Myrtle for keeping a look out. It really helped that Myrtle was infatuated with Harry.

Harry smirked as Malfoy came down the hall way – Harry looked intently at the book he was holding as he walked towards Malfoy. The white-haired git smirked at Harry and took out his wand. Harry saw but was not worried, before Malfoy could hex Harry, another hex hit the Slytherin and he fell to the ground out cold. Ron beamed at Harry when he revealed himself.

"I love you're Invisibility Cloak," Ron grinned.

"Hurry, lets get him out of the hall way before someone comes," Harry said, the two dragged Malfoy to the bathroom where Hermione was cleaning up and shrinking all of her supplies before putting them in a black velvet bag.

"Here," she said, handing Harry a vile.

"Give us ten minutes to get to the hall," she said.

"How are we going to make sure that no one suspects you, Harry?" Ron asked.

"Don't worry, Ron and I were talking very loudly about how I HAD to get up early today and go to the library, which I did, of which was only…five minutes ago," Harry smiled.

"How?"

"Explain later, but right now you two have to get to the great hall," Harry said.

"All right, this is going to be brilliant!" Ron smiled. Then the two were off. Harry bent over Malfoy and picked off some of the boy's hair, he put it into the vile of Poly Juice Potion, then he took out the forgetfulness potion and poured it down the other boys' throat. After that was done, Harry hid Malfoy in a stall.

As a last minute decision – Harry took Malfoy's shoes and transfigured them into bunny slippers, he put them on and shrunk his own shoes and school robes, he stuck them in his pants pocket for later. He took a glance at his watch and then he grinned this was going to be fun!

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Ron and Hermione took their usual seats at the Gryffindor table, the smiled at their house mates and exchanged greetings – 'Harry' smiled and nodded at those that greeted them, then they all started to eat their breakfast. Ron looked past 'Harry' to Hermione.

"How'd you make a double?" he asked.

"Crookshanks," Hermione replied; Ron only nodded and promised himself that he'd get the full story out of her once they were alone. It was then that they noticed 'Malfoy' coming into the room. He waved at them then bound over to his own table. Ron and Hermione watched him with amused looks on their faces.

They went back to their food, but kept an eye on the Slytherin table.

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"Malfoy, what's up with you?" Goyle asked.

"What do you mean?" 'Malfoy' asked.

"Why did you wave over at those Gryffindor's, and why are you wearing bunny slippers?" Crabbe asked.

"Why! It's 'Transfigure you're shoes into bunny slipper's day'!" 'Malfoy' replied with a sweep of his arms. He then sat down and grinned.

"What potion did Professor Snape make you drink?" Pansy asked.

"Why, nothing at all!" 'Malfoy' grinned. The Slytherins looked at each other then went back to their food, it was probably a weird phase that Malfoy was going through today! 'Malfoy' for his part, discreetly took out his wand, he said a quick incantation before putting it back up his sleeve. In a matter of seconds, all the Slytherins at the table (Except him) had animal's for heads.

Pansy roared at him – then looked quite put out. Crabbe and Goyle made monkey noises and sniffed their under arms. When the other Slytherins found out what happened to their normal heads, all hell broke out as they made animal sounds to each other. To say that it sounded like a ranging stampede of Rhino's, hippo's and Elephants was an understatement!

"What is going on here?" Snape glared as he made his way to the house table.

"Gee, Mate! How am I supposed to know? Figure they drank something weird?" 'Malfoy' gave a grin.

"Malfoy, what did you do? And why do I think it's you and not some bloody Gryffindor?" Snape asked.

"All right, you pulled it out of me! I did it!" 'Malfoy' said, it was then that Professor McGonagall came over. She had a small smile on her face, but she set the student's to rights. 'Malfoy' grinned as the other houses snickered at the Slytherins. They didn't care who did that prank, but they LOVED it!

"Ah! Do you hear that? What adoring fans we have!" 'Malfoy' stood and gave a bow. Snape pulled him off of the bench and glared.

"My office! Now!" he yelled before turning Malfoy towards the door way.

"I'm calling you're father, we'll get to the bottom of this!" Snape glared.

"Ah! Snapie-poo! Don't you like me any more?' 'Malfoy' sniffed.

"GET!"

"Aye, aye oh Captain!" the Slytherin gave a salute before skipping (yes, he actually skipped) out of the Great Hall. Snape also made his exit, intent on calling Lucius Malfoy.

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Harry escaped into the room of Requirement – there, the room had turned into a nice sitting room with a potions work table to the left and a shelf of books to the right. Harry took off the Slytherin robes and put his own on, he also banished the bunny slippers. He spied the red covered book and picked it up.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said. The blank pages filled with writing and on the tenth page, there was instructions from the Marauders.

_Now that you have pulled off you're first prank…--Prongs_

_Put the memory of it here for safe keeping – Padfoot_

_Don't forget to say "Memoro Exchango" – Moony_

_The bright light is supposed to happen – Wormtail_

Harry flipped through the books to see if there were any more instructions, however there was none and so he shrugged his shoulders he took out his wand and was about to do the spell when Ron and Hermione came in, Crookshanks on their heels.

"That was funny! Snape is on a rampage now because he can't find Draco Malfoy and now the gits father his here!" Ron laughed.

"I can't believe we did that!" Hermione cried.

"Hermione, you're starting to sound like Moony," Harry laughed.

"Hey, what does it say there?" Ron asked.

"We're supposed to put our memories of the prank in this book," Harry said.

"Oh! I've read about this spell, it's perfectly brilliant!" Hermione said in her _Professor_ tone of voice.

"Let's try it out then," Ron grinned. Both Hermione and Ron looked at Harry.

"What?"

"You first, Mate, it is you're father's book after all," Ron shrugged.

"All right," Harry took up his wand again, he said the spell and there actually was a bright, yellow light that flashed, signaling that the spell had worked. Hermione and Ron did the same thing, and by the end, all three had black spots before their eyes.

"Now I see why the book said to close you're eyes while performing that one," Hermione said.

"And you forgot to tell us because?" Ron asked.

"Hey look!" Harry cried and pointed at the book.

_(snicker) brilliant! Why didn't we think of that? – Moony_

_Maybe because we don't have Professor Granger-head as a teacher? – Prongs_

_Brilliant idea with the Bunny Slippers – Padfoot_

_Can we have a 'Transfigure you're shoes into Bunny slippers' day? – Wormtail_

_NO! – Moony, Padfoot, Prongs_

"Looks like we have the Marauders praise, what next?" Harry asked.

"Let's think on it, first," Hermione said,

"We are going to be late to Transfiguration," Ron pointed out, the three grabbed their books and checked the map before exiting the hidden room. Harry quickly said the incantation to make the _MWPP_ book look normal before anyone could catch on. They laughed with each other as they talked about what had happened at breakfast, their own thoughts going crazy with idea's for pranks.

Harry smirked – he just had the perfect idea – he whispered it to his friends, who looked at each other before nodding their heads. Hermione wasn't one for pranks, but she found this fun and her friends seemed to be happy, and Harry was deffinantly more of a Marauder than she had thought he was at first.

"But we can't let anyone know it was," Ron said as they entered the class room.

"I have an idea for that too," Harry said. They couldn't talk any longer because just then Professor McGonagall walked into the room. She glance at Harry, who waved at her and then the lesson started.

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A/N – I'm sorry that this chapter is so short! I didn't have a good idea for the prank so I think most of it is crap! What do you all think? Please leave a review and if you have any idea's for pranks that you would like to see, please tell me about them in a PM…that way the pranks will be a surprise. I will, however, put you in my disclaimer!

Ta,

Poppy


	3. The Slytherins Strike back

A/N – Hi! I hope you all like this chapter. I'm glad ya'll like this fic!

Key –

_Anything written like this is Harry (or Ron and Hermione) writing in the Marauders book!_

_**This is one of the Marauders answering back or talking amongst themselves, this will also be used for their rules and so on – you don't need to guess which Marauder says what because I will put their nick name after they say whatever it is!**_

_**The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts**_

_**Part 3 – The Slytherins Strike Back!**_

From that day forward – no Slytherin could go about without someone making some remark about the incident that morning at breakfast. Not even Malfoy could bully the other students in order to make them stop. Not to mention, everyone new that he had been yelled at by his Father and also by Professor Snape.

Lucius Malfoy was angry because his son had pranked his OWN house, and Professor Snape was mad because he and Lucius had to wait an hour before Draco Malfoy even showed up! Which brought on a weeks worth of detentions and twenty points taken from Slytherin house -- Both of which hurt Professor Snape and both Malfoy's, but it had to be done!

Meanwhile, the Golden Trio happily went about their own day's – Harry was able to make his mouse turn into a gold parakeet in Transfiguration, and in charms he was the first to make his parchment alight in fire. He got ten points for both accomplishments. However, he was not looking forwards to Potions! Snape was being the smarmy git he always was, and had been taking points from anyone (Except Slytherin) that even crossed his path on a Sunday!

The potions laboratory was just as it always was, dark, dank and smelly! The students sat at their desks quietly – they patiently waited for the torture to start as the office door opened and Snape entered the room, his black potions robes billowing behind him. He stood at the high podium and glared at the class.

With a flick of his wand, the potion instructions were written on the board and he crossed his arms – "Any silly business, and you'll have detention," Snape said, reminding Harry a lot of his Uncle Vernon Dursley.

The potion wasn't hard, it was a simple nutrition potion – most of the ingredients one could find in their won gardens and in the forests or at their local market. The students found that this was one of the easier potions that Snape had ever given them and took to it like ducks to water. Well, everyone except for Gryffindor Neville Longbottom, he had a tendency to mess up any potion (simple or not) and it was only a matter of time that he messed this one up (with a bit of help).

No one noticed Draco Malfoy (who conveniently sat behind Longbottom) throw a bit of bat wing into the Gryffindor's potion, the bat wing did not belong in this potion and so had a rather harsh side-effect when added.

With a loud "**BOOM!**" the potion blew up in Neville's face and coated himself and other students in sickly orange goo. Then, other potions blew up as well and goo of purple, black and blue were added to the orange walls, ceiling and desks.

"Oh! Gross!" Ron made a face. Harry wiped the goo from his glasses and Hermione looked fit to bust, her potion had been one of those that had blown up, and hers was perfect as well!

"LONGBOTTOM! Twenty points from Gryffindor and a week of detention, you're going to clean this whole room, top from bottom with a tooth brush!" Snape hissed (Snape never yelled unless he was mad, he was only fuming and so he hissed).

"Y-yes sir," Neville said dejectedly. The class were dismissed then in order to go get cleaned up before Herbology.

"Can you believe that (here, Ron said something awful that made Hermione glare at him) git?"

"He's been angry ever since that incident at breakfast a week ago," Hermione said.

"So had Malfoy, he's tried to hex me whenever he can," Harry sighed.

"I think it's about time we make them understand that no one messes with us Gryffindor's and gets away with it," Ron muttered angrily. Harry was just as angry, the goo was sticky and there would be no way he could get it out of his hair before their next class.

"We'll look at the book tonight and see if the Marauders can't give us any clue as to what we should do," Hermione said.

"Wait, how come you aren't trying to talk us out of this?" Ron asked.

"My potion was perfect! That's why!" Hermione sniffed.

The three quickly made their way to the tower in order to get cleaned up.

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It could be said, Harry thought, that not only was his Dad a genius but so was Remus Lupin, otherwise called Moony, and the brain's behind the operations of the Marauders.

The trios were sitting in the common room, a red book in the middle of the floor and the Map to one side – Harry had a quill in hand and they all looked grim. Harry had a theory that this book worked much in the same way the Riddles did.

_My name is Harry Potter, can you help us?_ He wrote.

_**Potter? Cool! Look Prongs! You have a son! – Padfoot**_

_**Oh – ho! So I get married to Lily then! Cool! – Prongs**_

_**What can we help you with? – Moony**_

_**Just so long as it isn't anything too dangerous – Wormtail**_

_**Shut up! – Prongs and Padfoot**_

_The Slytherins blew up our potions today, and one of our own got detention, what can we do to get back?_

Harry, Ron and Hermione watched as the words sank into the pages ; there was a period of time when the magic of the book didn't do anything, and then words appeared again.

_**Remember the secret tunnel to the Slytherin Common rooms? – Padfoot**_

_The one behind Salazar the Brave? _

_**That's the one! – Wormtail**_

_What should we do? _

_**Paint their common room in Gryffindor colors – and charm the Slytherins to say things such as – "Snape Stinks!" – Moony**_

"_**Gryffindor Rules!" – Padfoot**_

"_**Malfoy is a git!" – Prongs**_

_But won't the Professor's know that we did it? – Hermione_

_Don't be daft! Of course not! – Ron_

**_That's the beauty of it! If they can't figure out that it was you, than no problems – Moony_**

_**Aw! The Prefect is giving idea's! – Padfoot**_

_**Shut up! It's all right to get into trouble a little bit – Moony**_

_**Uh-huh! Whatever you say – Prongs**_

_**Moony! You're a prefect! – Wormtail**_

_**So what? It pay's, I got you all out of trouble in Professor Slughorn's class two weeks ago – Moony**_

_**Good ol' Moony! – Padfoot**_

_Thank you! – Harry_

_**Just don't get caught! – Wormtail**_

_We won't! – Ron_

"All right, what charm are they talking about?" Ron asked.

"Looks like we'll be found in the library for a few days," Harry said.

"If we want to make this brilliant, we should do all the research possible," Hermione shrugged. The three agreed to spend the rest of that weekend in the library (after homework was done of course) in order to research the charms and transfiguration spells that they needed.

For a while after he went to bed; Harry thought of all the pandemonium he and his friend would make as soon as they possibly could. The Marauders third rule popped into his head and he couldn't help but snicker! Maybe he was more of a Marauder than he thought he was! And with that happy thought, he went to sleep.

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A/N – Hello! Don't worry about the prank, there will be more too it! I promise! I know that this chapter may have been boring, and a bit short, but it sets the scene for the next chapter! Honest! Please review!

Ta,

Poppy


	4. Gryffindor Rules!

**The Marauder's Guide to Hogwarts**

**Chapter 4 – The Trio's Prank**

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"Ouch! Stop stepping on my feet!"

"Be quiet, Snape is around here someplace!"

"Are we there yet?"

The Trio was huddled under the Invisibility Cloak that Harry had gotten in his first year as a Christmas Present from the Headmaster. He had used an enlargement charm on it, however, they still had to be careful so that no one would hear them. People had this odd habit of following weird sounds. Especially in the middle of the night.

They were in the dungeon's looked for Salazar Slytherin's statue. For it was the secret passage into the Slytherin house. It had taken the Trio weeks to figure out all the charms and then they had to practice them to perfection so that they could do it within seconds.

If James Potter or Sirius Black had been there, they would have thought De Ja Vu. For the two Marauders had done this plenty of times and sometimes they had done it by themselves. However, Harry didn't give thought to this as they came upon the statue.

"Slytherin is cool," Harry muttered. Nothing happened.

"Do you think they changed their pass word?" Ron asked.

"I don't think so, we did a check up on the spell for this statue. It looked the same," Hermione said.

"Harry, do it in parseltongue," Ron suggested.

Harry nodded and closed his eyes. He wasn't good at talking Parseltongue, but he tried it anyway. Whatever it was the he had said, the statue moved to the side and they were able to squeeze into the passage.

"I wonder how the Marauder's got in without knowing Parseltongue," Hermione wondered to herself.

"I don't think we'll ever know that, okay, let's get this done," Harry said.

When morning came, the Trio went to breakfast like normal. There was toast, cereal, and orange juice like normal. Hermione brought out her charms book like normal. And Ron and Harry talked Quiditch like normal.

The only thing that was not normal was the fact that the Slytherin table was completely empty.

"What do you suppose happened to the Slytherin's?" little Colin Creevy asked a friend of his.

"Maybe they all got kicked out of school," was the reply.

"Or maybe they're just sleeping in," someone else said.

Harry, Ron and Hermione paid no attention to the conversation. In fact, they looked quite bored.

Professor McGonagall looked quite unhappy to see that all she had in her class were the Gryffindor's. Though she was able to help Neville to finally get his toad to turn into a green cup with warts on it, she was still wondering about the Slytherin's who usually graced her class.

For charms, one or two Slytherin's had shone up. Their hair was bright gold, and whenever they were called upon to answer a question, they refused and lost points from their house because of it.

Portions was canceled for some odd reason, but no one questioned it because no one particularly liked potions. However, Hermione did mention a test they were supposed to have had that day.

Soon, they got to lunch and that was when they finally saw all of their hard work. The Slytherin table had a few student's at it. Some of their hair was red and others gold. They had huge letter's above their head. Every so often the phrases would change.

_**Gryffindor is cool!**_

_**Gryffindor Rules!**_

_**The Quiditch team is the best!**_

_**They put us to the test!**_

_**We wish we were that awesome…**_

_**But we are only lowly possums…**_

"What the heck happened over there?" Oliver Wood asked Harry.

"I have no clue," Harry said.

"It is funny though," Ron said. It was quiet during lunch, though some people still snickered. However, it was when Professor Snape made his appearance that things actually got interesting.

He swept into the room liked a Vampire on the prowl for blood. He glared at everyone as he glided towards the Slytherin table. He stood behind Malfoy, who was still in trouble from the last incident.

"What in heaven's name is going on with you lot?" Snape asked. No one said a word. The other houses looked on, but tried to seem as if they weren't.

"Well?" Snape tried again, he wasn't a very patient person. Still no one said a thing.

"Someone had better explain," he warned.

Finally, it was Malfoy who opened his mouth: "I wish I was a Gryffindor!" could be heard through out the room. For a few seconds there was silence, and then the three other houses started cheering and clapping and laughing. It was obviously a joke because no Slytherin actually wanted to be in Gryffindor.

Snape turned a lovely shade of purple. It must have been the first time anyone had seen him so bloody mad in all of his years of teaching. He turned and huffed his way to the teachers table where he went straight to Dumbledore.

"It was Potter!" he yelled above the noise of the other houses.

"Now, Severus," Dumbledore smiled at him.

"Let them have some fun, in times such as these, laughter is small and comes even less frequently than Christmas,"

**Meanwhile, at the Gryffindor table...**

"That was brilliant!" Ron managed over his laughter. He and Harry were belly laughing so hard that tears ran down their cheeks. They knew what would happen, but actually seeing it was completely different!

"I'm glad that we came up with this," Hermione said. No one paid attention to her. They saw Professor Snape talking to Dumbledore, however, apparently nothing was being done and so Snape fluttered off like a hen pecked chicken.

By the time lunch was over, the houses were still laughing at the Slytherin's. Even through out the rest of the day – some students couldn't help but snicker whenever a Slytherin came their way.

For their part, the Slytherin's did just what they were named to do. Slither about and hope that no one caught them doing so. They were no longer sure of themselves because of this joke and they hated themselves for these feelings.

**Slytherin Common room -- **

Later that night, when the joke finally wore off and they could talk without mentioning "Gryffindor" -- Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle prowled their dorm room in search of a way to get back at Gryffindor.

They did not know who had done that nasty trick to them and so did not know how to return it back to said peoples. Malfoy was deffinatly in a nasty mood considering that his father was once again breathing down his neck about his poor school performance.

Apparently, History of Magic was important! (Draco thumbed his nose).

"What are we going to do?" Crabbe finally asked.

"How are we supposed to do?" Draco shot back.

"Gee, don't get on us, we want to get back at the idiots who did this to us," Goyle replied.

"Shut up! I just want to get back at the prats who played that god awful trick on us," Draco muttered.

"I guess we should find them then," Crabbe said.

"Gee, you think!" Draco hit him making Crabbe fall over onto his face.

**Gryffindor Common Room ...**

"Do you think they might get on to us?" Hermione asked. The Trio sat in the common room late that night recording their debacle. The Marauders obviously liked it, and had fun commenting on the stupidness of Slytherin's.

"I don't even think they know where to start, there are eighty students in Gryffindor," Harry replied.

"A hundred and eighty to be exact," Hermione said.

"Any road! We should lay low for a while. Plan our next prank," Ron said.

"This time it should be general so that Slytherin doesn't get on to us," Hermione said.

"Good idea – we should do something fun," Harry muttered.

"Let's see, what can we do?" Ron muttered.

"I think we should study for History of Magic and think about our next prank later, I think potions will be horrible tomorrow!" Hermione pointed out.

"Right, good idea, look like we're doing what every other student is doing and no one will know," Ron grinned.

"Ron-ald!"

"What? Were you serious?"

"Obviously!" Hermione rolled her eyes.

"All right you two, let's go to sleep then," Harry said.

They finished their school work for that day and then made their way to bed. It was a good idea to sleep on it and maybe another prank would come to them. Until then, Harry hoped the potions would be canceled again the next day.

* * *

A/N – Sorry that this also hasn't been updated! I do have an idea for the next chapter. I love you all!

Ta,

Midnight Island


	5. Rythm and Rhyme remix!

**The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts**

**Chapter 5 -- Rythm and Ryme (Remix)**

* * *

The hex screamed wildly down the hall. Students dived to one side or the other in order to avoid the hex. At the end of the long hall way, three student's turned to see what was happening behind them. They were taken aback for mere seconds, however, Harry pushed his friends towards the wall's on either side of them and then he himself ducked. 

It was at that moment that Professor Snape walked up behind the Trio, and got struck square in the nose with the hex. It made his nose grow huge and green and he suddenly sprouted warts.

"Potter, what is the meaning of this?"

"I don't know what happened!" Harry replied.

"Than what do you call this…?" Snape pointed it his face. Now, the skin had gone all green and boils had popped up.

"It wasn't us because I don't know that hex," Hermione said. It was then that the snickering of Malfoy and his goons could be heard from the other end of the hall.

"If it help's Professor, the hex came from that end," Ron said, pointing behind them. Snape glared in that direction. Malfoy and his posse obviously hadn't seen the end result of their pranking.

"Excuse me," Snape muttered and stalked off down the hall. Harry, Ron and Hermione watched him go before sneaking off. They heard Snape yelling at Malfoy and his group. Which made them snicker as they went off to their next class.

"That was a close one, we could have been blamed," Ron said.

"No doubt,"

"Still, Malfoy was aiming for us," Harry said.

"Do you think they know?" Hermione asked.

"Not likely, they would have told the Headmaster," Harry shrugged.

"Tell me what exactly?"

The Trio jumped when Albus Dumbledore showed up behind them.

"Sir?" Harry asked, hoping that the heart attack he obviously was having would have an effect on the Headmaster.

"What was it that you were afraid would be told to me?" Dumbledore asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

"That…it's rather embarrassing I'm afraid," Harry said.

"Oh? Does it have to do with a young woman then?" Dumbledore asked, looking straight at Hermione.

"Well, sort of…"

"Ah, then do not worry about it. I am sure that you and the young woman will obviously come upon each other some time in the near future," he smiled and then he was off to only he knew where.

"Blimey, off his rocker…" Ron muttered.

"Nice save though…"

"Harry, is there a girl that you like?" Hermione asked.

"What!" Harry jumped again for the second time that day.

"Well…?"

"No, there is no one!" Harry denied and then he spun and was off down the hall.

"Now look at what you have done," Ron rolled his eyes and then he was off.

Hermione shrugged and started to follow…

"Oh! We're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of OZ….!"

* * *

Over the next day, Ron, Harry and Hermione went in search of their charms. Most of the charms they came upon were quite useful and they made notes on these for future pranks. The hex from Malfoy the day before spurned them on to get their prank ready for the next day. 

One of Hermione's theories was that they would need a potion in order to do it; most specifically the babbling potion and the Rhythm potion. The babbling potion was very straight forward. In fact they had done it a couple of times in potions class, it was the rhythm potion that would be hard.

"But what about the effects? Snape has told us a dozen times to never mix two potions," Ron said.

"I know, but these potions are compatible. Remember that time when Neville put thyme in the babbling potion instead of bay leaves?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah…"

"That's it!" Harry had gotten the hint, "That made him Rhyme when he drank it!"

"That's all we have to do," Hermione smirked.

In the end, it was Harry who was chosen to go down to the kitchens. It was midnight and even though he had the map, he was careful to not make any noise. He didn't want someone to stumble upon him (people had a way of doing that) and so, it took him thirty minutes to get to the kitchens.

He tickled the pear and the painting moved aside so that he could enter. Harry slipped in silently and saw that the house elves were still at it. _Do they ever go to bed?_ He asked himself. But then he figured it was a stupid question.

He paused and looked about the kitchen. He saw the huge earthenware pot sitting on the stove. He strolled over to it, making sure that he stayed out of the way of the house elves. He peeked over into the pot and saw a lot of pumpkin juice being made. He smiled as he slyly pulled out his little container.

It hadn't taken them long to make the potion. It had only taken that evening and that was it. Needless to say, it was one of the easier potions that a student of marginal talent could make. However, Hermione was very good at potions and so she had insisted on making it.

Harry emptied the vile into the pot of pumpkin juice, and then he slinked back towards the doors of the kitchen. The House Elves were completely oblivious to him and so they went about their normal nightly routine. Harry held back his snickering till he had stepped out of the kitchens.

He grinned and then looked down at the Marauder's Map. Snape was three floors away, towards the Ravenclaw entrance. The left Harry with a clear trail back to Gryffindor tower.

* * *

"Good morning," Hermione greeted her friends. 

"Do you think it's storming?" Ron asked.

"Either that, or Neville is snoring," Harry replied.

"Why are we talking in rhyme?" Colin asked. For that was what everyone was doing.

"How should we know? What is the time?" Ron asked.

"Time enough to eat," someone shrugged.

"Someone took my seat!"

"I wish boy's were actually neat!"

"Isn't this in our curriculums someplace?"

"Do you think the Pumpkin juice was laced?"

"Not by the taste,"

"I like paste!" Colin cried.

"What does that have to do with the current conversation?" Hermione asked.

"How should I know?"

"Oh! Why don't you stow it?" Ron rolled his eyes.

"I think this is fun," Harry said.

"Oh yes, it's tons!" Ron agreed.

"Potter! Potter!" Oliver Wood called and came up behind him.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"Professor would like to see you for a mit!" Oliver said. Then he shook his head.

"Thank you,"

Oliver nodded and then went on his way. He didn't like to rhyme.

Harry stood and made his way towards the teachers table where the teachers where having a very strange discussion.

"Cat!"

"Sat!"

"On!"

"The!"

"Bat!"

"Potter!"

"Did!"

"IT!"

"What did I do?" Harry asked.

"You dare to sew?" Snape glared.

"I will if you go slow…"

"Potter, what did you do?"

"Who said that I did it?"

"Why don't we go to my office, and sit?" Dumbledore asked.

"I'd rather not," Harry shrugged.

"Why is that?"

"I like the mat," Harry replied,

"You are a Nat!" nape muttered.

"And you're a prat!" McGonagall glared at Snape.

"Takes one to know one," Snape replied.

"Children!" Dumbledore held up his hand.

"There is no need to fight, all we need to do is take a flight," and then he and the other teachers left the great hall and all of the rhyming to the students.

"What was that about?" Ron asked when Harry returned to the table.

"Nothing but a Snape is such a lout!" Harry replied.

"He also has a long green snout!" Fred and George yelled.

"And so this makes us curious…" Fred started.

"And we are deadly serious…" George continued.

"We want to find out…"

"Who snuck about…"

"And played this brilliant trick…"

"Or it will just make us sick!" they finished, and with that, Fred and George were off to class with the Trio not far behind them.

* * *

Professor McGonagall couldn't remember the last time this had happened. All day every one talked in rhyme and it was making her quite sick and ticked. Thought turned to years before when the Marauder's had run about Hogwarts playing all of their nasty pranks. There was once a time when the entire faculty had their hair turned pink! It was terrible! 

She sighed as once again she heard a couple of students rhyming. She wished that she could just go to bed and not have to worry about anything any longer.

* * *

**Mr. Prongs sees that the Trio has had a brilliant idea! – Mr. Prongs**

**Mr. Padfoot would like to say that was a very nice prank! – Mr. Padfoot**

**Mr. Moony would like to point out that it was only slightly boring – Mr. Moony**

**Mr. Wormtail would like to say that at least the teachers didn't get wise – Mr. Wormtail**

**Next time, do something to the Slytherin's – Mr. Padfoot **

**Like shrinking their clothes or something of that sort – Mr. Prongs**

**Though don't get caught – Mr. Moony**

**Or the teachers will put your pranking to a stop – Mr. Wormtail**

**It's time to show them what you can do – Mr. Prongs**

**And let them know that you did it – Mr. Padfoot**

**But in a round-about way – Mr. Moony**

**What you need is a name! – Mr. Wormtail**

"What do they mean that we need a name?" Ron asked.

"I think that they want others to know that we have been playing these pranks," Hermione said.

"Yeah, but what will we name outselves?" Harry asked.

"It has to be something brilliant!" Ron said.

**We have given it some thought and we think that you should have the name – Mr. Prongs**

**Let me say it! – Mr. Padfoot**

**No! let me! – Mr. Wormtail**

**It shall be…The Terrible Trio ! -- Mr. Moony **

"I like it," Hermione said.

"Yeah, no one else could come up with that!" Harry said.

"Mum has called me a hellion some times…" Ron said.

"Then that is what we are, the Terrible Trio are on the prowl!"

* * *

A/N -- I would just like to thank the reviewer who gave me the name of the Terrible Trio. AKA Tripple T! thank you!

This chapter, even though isn't a remiz at all. I needed to change the name anyway, because I hated the one I had.


	6. The Teachers Worst Nightmare!

**The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts**

**Chapter 6 -- The Teachers Worst Nightmare!**

* * *

Harry Potter, Ron Weasely and Hermione Granger were studying in the Gryffindor Common room hours after the rest of the house had gone to bed. Not only had the three surpassed their normal grades (Well, not much for Hermione but she was happy about it anyway) – but they were in the midst of planning yet another prank. 

"I wonder if this is what your Dad and his friends did," Ron said suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"Well, my Dad and his friends were the school prankers at on point in time," Harry said.

"Oh, I see, maybe they also got good grades," Hermione replied.

"And loads of detention, we haven't served any, yet," Ron said.

"Ron, your jinxing it!" Harry exclaimed.

"No I'm not," Ron said, confused.

"It's a muggle expression, it means that you shouldn't say things. It'll just change your luck," Hermione explained.

"Oh," Ron looked as if he understood.

"Anyway," Harry rolled his eyes, "We haven't played a prank in weeks. Everyone is getting to relaxed," he said.

"I suppose we should do something," Hermione agreed.

"Let's try something on the treachers," Ron said.

"Like what?" Harry asked.

"I don't know, make them sing at random times or something, I suppose," Ron shrugged.

"Ron, I love the way you think," Harry grinned.

"What?"

"You just came up with our prank," Hermione smiled at Ron.

* * *

With the buckets of powder levitated, with invisible charms concealing their master piece. The Terrible Trio waited for the prank to start working. Of course, it wouldn't do to start it right away and give themselves away. And so, when all the Teachers were abnormally sitting at the table. Hermione flicked her wand to make the buckets dump the powder all over the table. This powder was unseen and tasteless, which meant that no one noticed it floating into their food. 

Harry, Ron and Hermione slinked out of the Great Hall with a crowd of students: not wanting to be caught they made their escape. Their first class brought them to Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall started giving her lecture. It was quite interesting, hiowver…after a moment or two….things changed, music that seamed to come from no where started up…and Professor McGonagall started to sing…

"_We talk about your work how your boss is a jerk_

_We talk about your church and your head when it hurts_

_We talk about the troubles you've been having with your brother_

_About your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover_

_We talk about your friends and the places that you've been_

_We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin_

_The polish on your toes and the run in your hose_

_And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes_

_You know talking about you makes me smile_

_But every once in awhile_

_I wanna talk about me_

_Wanna talk about I_

_Wanna talk about number one _

_Oh my me my_

_What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see_

_I like talking about you, usually, but occassionally_

_I wanna talk about me_

_I wanna talk about me_" (1)

The class erupted into clapping and fits of laughter by the time she had gotten done with the American muggle song. Then the bell rang and the class was over. McGonagall assigned some reading material. She hoped she wouldn't be singing all day, even if she did have a very nice voice.

* * *

Severus Snape had no clue what was going on in Transfiguration. He did not know that it was Karaoke time for the Teachers and so, he went about his day as he usually did. He did a bit of his own research, since he had no classes to teach that morning, and so, had gotten most of his experimental potion ready to document. 

It was only that afternoon when he had the double potions with the Slytherins and Gryffindor's that he had any notion that something terrible had happened that morning. For, when he decided to give a out of the ordinary lecture about this particular potion…something worse than he could ever imagine started to happen.

He started to sing, and he couldn't stop!

"_Right now he's probably slow dancing  
With that bleach blonde tramp  
And she's probably getting frisky  
Right now he's probably buying her some fruity little drink  
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey  
Right now he's probably behind her with a pool stick showing  
Her how to shoot a combo  
And he don't know_

_  
i dug my key into the side  
Of his pretty little suped up four wheel drive  
Carved my name into his leather seats  
Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights  
Slashed a hole in all four tires  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.." (2)_

"FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR! NOW GET OUT OF MY CLASS ROOM!"

The students rushed out of the room, saved from Snape. And glad for it!

"I can't believe it's really working!" Ron sniggered. As the Trio walked down the hallway, they were getting as far away from the dungeons as possible.

"Yeah, Snape was great!" Hermione grinned.

"I knew that bloke was queer," Harry sighed.

"Sure you did!" Ron rolled his eyes.

"What?" Harry demanded of his friends. They laughed, deciding on not letting Harry in on their secret, whatever the hell that was.

* * *

Dumbledore had been singing randomly all day. And for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. It was awfully odd, since he never was particular to singing and he didn't listen to much music to begin with. Which meant that it was very odd for him to even know the lyrics to these songs right off the bat. However, he was quite pleased, for even the students burst out into song randomly. Now, all they needed was a huge dance number like in the muggle picture shows and things would be perfect. 

As dinner wound down, Dumbledore got this overwhelming feeling that he must sing once more. And so, he stood up and cleared his throat…

"_I Want It That Way _

_I Want It That Way_

_You are my fire_

_The one desire_

_Believe when I say_

_I want it that way_

_But we are two worlds apart_

_Can't reach to your heart_

_When you say_

_That I want it that way_

_Tell me why_

_Ain't nothin' but a heartache_

_Tell me why_

_Ain't nothin' but a mistake_

_Tell me why_

_I never wanna hear you say_

_I want it that way_

_Am I your fire_

_Your one desire_

_Yes I know it's too late_

_But I want it that way…"_

Groaning filled the hall with a smattering of clapping. Most of the students (the girls) wondered why Professor Dumbledore was singing an old Boy band song. Sure, Nick Carter was hot, but…that group was so LAME!

Apparently, Professor Dumbledore didn't care.

* * *

_Song Guide—_

_Listed as they appear in the Fan Fiction. _

_Wanna Talk About Me – Toby Keith_

_Before he Cheats – Carrie Underwood_

_I want it that way -- The Backstreet Boys_

* * *

A/N – Okay, I am sorry that this short. But this was all that I could come up with. I tried to pick these songs randomly because that was the whole point of this chapter! I hoped you liked it. 

Ta,

Dizzy


	7. The CLOCKS OF DOOM!

Chapter Summary --- Slytherin ain't the only house to get pranked! It's Gryffindor's turn!

Disclaimer – I don't own this or the prank.

A/N – I do hope that this is more original than my chapters before.

* * *

**The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts**

**Part 7**

* * *

**Seamus woke, startled, to an alarm clock, of which he could not remember anyone in the room having**. He looked around, trying to find said terrible noise of doom of which he would kill. It was not nice to set an alarm clock this early in the morning. Not if you had a charms test that day.

However, he could not find it, he went through is trunk. Throwing things everywhere; He looked in the closet, and he looked in the showers (which was off to one side of the dorm room) when he could not find the offending noise, but hearing it all the same, he growled in desperation. This was so not fun!

All too son (or soon enough for Seamus) the sound subsided and the quiet of the castle settled in. Seamus gave up, he'd never find it if it didn't make any sound, and he went back to bed. Making sure to put a silencing spell up around his bed.

* * *

**It was late, so late that Neville didn't know exactly what was happening!**

The wrenching sound of a bell rang in his head and he fell off his bead with a loud thump. Groaning, he sat up. All the other boys were fast asleep. Harry turned over, Ron was snoring and talking about spiders who wanted to tap dance, and Seamus seemed to be as sound asleep as anything.

Neville glared around the room. It was terribly rude for this to happen. Didn't people know that it was not nice to wake people in the middle of the night with their alarm clocks? Then it hit him, Hermione might be studying and she had the rather brilliant IDEA to have an alarm clock to startle her awake if she went to sleep.

With that in his head, he got back into bed, noticed that the room had practically been ransacked, but dismissed it. He put up a silencing spell around his bed and went back to sleep.

* * *

**What is that?** She thought, she had no idea what the hell that noise was but she hated it. Lavender sat up, groggy eyed and yawning. She looked around the room, seeing as the other girls were asleep – she couldn't figure out what that sound was.

Soon enough it got on her nerves. She glared, took up her wand and lit it. With some light she searched the room. It wasn't in her trunk, nor Padma's nor Hermione's. It was really odd. She searched the closets and the wash room. The sound kept up and soon enough she was hovering above her bed to see the beams that held up the roof.

She only found spiders.

Slowly coming to the floor, she sighed and climbed into bed. If she didn't know where the object was, how was she supposed to silence it with the silencing spell they had learned in charms last week? And what was that sound anyway?

She decided to forget about it as the sound tapered off and it was quiet once more.

* * *

**Fred and George came awake within moments;** the sound renting through the air was very annoying. Lee Jordan also came awake. He gave them a look of which they shrugged that. Lighting their own wands, they decided to search the room.

"This is really odd," George said.

"No kidding, so what is it?" Lee asked.

"A bell of some sort, I'm sure," Fred said.

However, as soon as this was said, and their search of the rooms was over, the sound was gone. The three looked at each other. Shrugged and went back to bed.

* * *

**"I don't know what was going on last night," Seamus was telling Ron, "But this noise, like an alarm clock kept coming on and off all night long!"**

"Really? Strange, I didn't hear anything," Ron replied, stuffing eggs into his mouth.

"No, really, every thirty minutes!" Seamus exclaimed.

"Funny, that happened to me too. But I thought you were sleeping," Neville said.

"I put up the silencing charm, but I didn't know it only kept up for thirty minutes at a time," Seamus sighed.

"Hermione could have told you that," Ron rolled his eyes.

"So, why didn't you wake up?" Neville asked.

"I don't know!"

"What about you Harry? Your usually a light sleeper," Neville said.

"Well, I admit it, I took a sleeping potion last night. Haven't been sleeping well and when I told the Nurse, she gave it to me," Harry explained. Of which he did with Neville standing right there besides him.

"Oh, that's right, I forgot," Neville sighed.

"Anyway, would you please tell Hermione to keep it off tonight?" Seamus asked.

"Keep what off?" Hermione asked, she had just been talking to Lavender.

"That clock of yours," Neville said.

"I didn't have a clock, whatever are you talking about?" Hermione asked.

"Weren't you using an alarm clock to keep yourself awake while studying?" Neville asked.

"I was sleeping, ask Lavender," Hermione said.

"She was – what is an alarm clock?" Lavender asked.

"That thing that makes noise to wake you in the morning," Harry said.

"Oh, was that the thing that kept going off all night long?"

"How do you know its an alarm clock if your couldn't find it?" Ron asked.

"I don't know," Lavender shrugged.

The bell for the start of classes rang just then and the students filed out of the Great Hall for the days first classes. They chattered on and on and on about one thing (well, at least the Gryffindor's) about the noise that had kept waking them the night before.

When they got to Transfiguration (which they shared with the Hufflepuff's) they were all very weirded our. For on each and every desk that belonged to a student, that students under thing was on it with a note. Lavender read hers aloud, holding her under shirt in her hands.

_Dear Lavender,_

_You left this in the office last night. Thought I'd return it. _

_Love, Professor Luminate_

_P.S. Good work on those finals!_

"Who's professor Luminate?" Lavender asked.

"I don't know, could it be the Muggle Studies teacher?" A Hufflepuff (Name Max Mccanon) asked.

"No, the Muggle Professor is Professor Burbage," Hermione said.

"Right, that rules her out," Ron laughed.

"Let's ask Professor McGonagall when she comes in," Padma said.

It wasn't long till Professor McGonagall entered her class room. Only to find boys and girls chatting about – "What is this nonsense and why are you carrying around your under things?" she asked.

"Professor, who is Professor Luminate?" Lavender shot up and out of her seat. She handed McGonagall her note. The Professor's face went red as she read it over.

"Class is dismissed for today," she said, and quickly went out the door. Obviously to talk to Professor Dumbledore.

* * *

"**There seems to be a bit of perplex-ness about a Professor Luminate.** First and foremost, there has never ever been a Professor of that name teaching here at Hogwarts," Professor Dumbledore said, address all of the school that night at dinner.

"As to why all of the Gryffindor's, Slytherin's, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaw's under things got to their desks with such notes is being investigated. If we do find the perpetrators of this…joke…there will be drastic detentions. That is all," Dumbledore said and dinner was served.

"Well, that certainly made stir," Hermione said.

"Yeah, I wonder why?" Harry asked.

* * *

a/n – okay, I thought that the part with the under things was interesting. I found this joke online, so I know that people have done it. I decided to make up a fictitious professor because there are laws against this sort of thing. At least, in America, there is. And I didn't want to get any of the other Professor's in trouble!

The clock thing was just to get to the rest of the chapter.

Ta,

Dizzy


	8. Muggles have the BEST idea's!

Chapter Summary – To close to call a close call.

**The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts**

**Part 8**

**As per usual display of disciplinary action,** Professor Snape had professed the Gryffindor's idiots (as usual) and then docked a hundred-and-thirty points from them. Which did not make the Gryffindor's in the class happy at all, but, what were they to do? After all, Snape was the meanest, nastiest, most diabolical professor in the school! It was impossible to make him happy if you were not in his house.

As per usual display of cunningness, Draco Malfoy had sent a fizzing wizby into Harry's caldron of glop. It had sprayed everywhere, and the fizzing wizby was nowhere to be found since Draco had disillusioned it; which made Professor Snape dock said mention hundred-and-thirty points. Draco Malfoy was very pleased with himself as he watched Potter, Granger, Weasely and Longbottom wipe the glop away from their faces.

"That little git," Ron muttered.

"That bastard," Harry muttered.

"That idiot," Hermione muttered.

"My eyes hurt," Neville proclaimed. The four watched as the Slytherin's were given perfect grades, and once again, the Gryffindor's failed this particular lesson. It was one of the worst displays of unfairness that they had ever witnessed and that was saying a lot. The bell saved them from watching further as Snape ostracized them further in class.

As they walked down the hall, the Trio fumed. This happened a lot, only Hermione wasn't bothered by it, but today was different. She wasn't happy about it at all. Her potion had been perfect, but when the glop from Harry's cauldron had been distributed into the air, it fell into her perfected potion and ruined it. They were lucky that the potion didn't do something horrible to them when it splashed all over the place.

At least they didn't get detention. Snape had forgotten that particular fate.

"Potter!"

Or not.

"You potion was deplorable. Detention at seven tonight, don't be late," Snape happily informed the boy (happy for Snape was smirking in triumph). Then he flapped his way down the hall like the great big, stupid bat he was.

"Where the hell does he get off doing that?" Ron asked.

"He's a professor," Harry sighed.

"He'll make you clean something terrible, but don't worry, we'll get back at him," Hermione promised.

They continued to walk down the hallway to the Great Hall for lunch. Harry wasn't particularly worried about detention that night. Snape reveled in doing as much as possible to torture Harry. However, Harry, Hermione and Ron were the Terrible Trio….

….It was there job to torture Snape!

* * *

Dutifully, Harry showed up at seven. Snape set him the task of cleaning the whole class room without the use of magic. Apparently, for some wizards, cleaning the muggle way was a terrible imposition. However, Harry was no normal wizard, he had been made to clean the whole house, top to bottom, till it glowed when he was five. Sometimes, Dudley would make a mess just so that he could watch Harry clean it all over again.

Without complaint, Harry cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned.

And, for the hell of it…cleaned some more!

Soon, half past nine, he was let free. The potions class room, for the first time in the history of the school, shined like no other time in its life. Snape was impressed, but he didn't let it show. Apparently, since the boy had lived with Muggles, he knew what to do and how to do it! (without magic).

* * *

Harry made his way back to the Gryffindor tower. On his way he stopped by the kitchens to pick up something to eat for himself and Ron and Hermione. When he got there; Ron and Hermione were whispering in the common room. He settled down the biscuits and butterbeer on the table.

"So, what are we doing?" he asked. Ron and Hermione dug into the food.

"We have the best idea, not even Fred and George have done this one," Ron said.

"But, Prongs and Padfoot did, once," Hermione said.

"You got the idea from the book then?" Harry asked.

"Yes, what was Snape doing when you left him?" Hermione asked.

"He was grading papers,"

"Good, now, we have to be as quiet as possible and we will deffinantly need the invisibility cloak," she explained.

* * *

Professor Severus Snape was grading papers with blood red ink. It was his favorite color, not only did it match the depressing results the Gryffindor's papers gave him, but it matched their house colors. How amazing was that?

With a flourish of his hand, he marked another paper as failed and moved on to the next. The clock chimed eleven. It was late and he had another early class in the morning. He sighed, not being able to finish marking was really annoying. He waved his wand and the papers cleared themselves from his desk. Then he stood and dawned his outer robe, for he had taken it off in order to work.

When a knocking came to his door, he looked up, it was too late for anyone to be out. Maybe it was one of the Slytherin first years who needed him for something. If the upper classmen wouldn't help, then the first years were sent to him. Not that he minded, but sometimes he didn't appreciate it.

He went over and opened the door, fully expecting a first year to be terrified of coming to him. However, he first smelled something awful, and then it exploded. Dung bombs were naturally smelly and messy. However, set one on fire and watch it explode…was worse than anything!

(A burning dung bomb was worse than Voldemort!)

With a face full of poo, Snape closed the door in order to go wash up.

* * *

"But sir! I didn't do it!" Malfoy proclaimed. He, Crab and Goyle had been pulled into Professor Snape office. Snape was in a terrible mood and it was being made worse by the blatant disrespectful attitude of Malfoy. (Even if he did use the word "sir")

"Then explain this note!" and he proceeded to read it out loud.

_Dear Snape,_

_Hope you enjoyed the surprise. _

_Signed, D, Malfoy_

_P.S. I really did it!_

"But…but….but…" Draco stuttered.

This, might just be the one and only time that Professor Snape did not feel guilt over giving Malfoy and his cronies a detention. A Muggle detention at that.

* * *

**Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs wish to congratulate you on a prank well done. **

**Mr. Padfoot would like to inform the Terrible Trio that he thought the prank ingenious. **

**Mr. Moony would like to remind Mr. Padfoot that he had thought up said ingenious prank.**

**Mr. Prongs would like to add that it was the most original. **

**Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that this prank was one adopted from Muggles.**

**Mr. Padfoot would like to ask Mr. Wormtail to explain. **

**Mr. Wormtail would like to reply with the fact that Muggles like to put burning bags of dog poo on the neighbors porch. Therefore, the burning dung bomb had been adopted and adapted from the muggle prank. **

**Mr. Moony would like to congratulate Mr. Wormtail on his show of brain power. **

**Mr. Wormtail thanks Mr. Moony with much pleasure.

* * *

**

**a/n – **This must be the shortest chapter of the fic. Sorry about that, but I haven't really had much time to write, and I decided that this fic needed updating anyway!


	9. Grim Tears and Interlude

a/n – I decided that it was about time for me to update this. I'm switching gears for a moment.

**The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts**

**Part 9**

**(This is why you never mess with a dog you've never seen…)**

It was a normal day at school. Students milled about with their books perched in their arms. Ghosts roamed the hallways and some even stopped to chat with their favorite house students. Sir Nicolas was talking to Arthur Weasely and his girlfriend Molly Prewit. Remus had hidden out in the library all day and his friends had decided, for once, to leave him alone. Which didn't happen often and so Remus Lupin was able to catch up on a lot of homework. Of course, all the teachers understood why, he was sick and he had a lot of family members die suddenly (Sirius said it had to be Death Eaters).

Currently, two of the Marauders had made it outside. Peter was absent for once and both Sirius and James were able to breathe comfortably. Don't get them wrong, they liked Peter. He was a bit shallow though, but he was a good distraction when they needed one. They sat by the lake while storm clouds filled the sky.

"We won't be able to stay out long," James sighed.

"No, too bad I was hoping to have a run around the Quiditch field," Sirius shook his head.

"Well, I do have something to tell you," James gave his friend a smile.

"Oh?" Sirius sat back carelessly.

"I was able to turn last night," James replied.

"Into what and why wasn't I there?" Sirius growled at his friend.

"I'm a Stag, and it was late and I was frustrated, I don't know how I did it but I was the bomb!" James laughed.

"Wicked!"

"Yes, anyway, if your anything I think it's a dog,"

"No way! It has to be a wolf!" Sirius replied.

"What sort of wolf?"

"An Arctic Wolf,"

"That would go against you, since your name is Black," James laughed.

"Laugh it up antler-head!(1)" Sirius glared.

"Okay, okay, sorry,"

They sat in silence for a few moments before James gave his friend a friendly push in the shoulder: "Why don't you try it now? We're alone," James said.

"You think it would work?"

"Go ahead and try it," James insisted.

Sirius shook his head, but he closed his eyes, he crossed his legs and started to concentrate. In his head he imagined the form he would take. The book said that everyone was different, even if you had a good idea what you could be you could always turn into something else. As he sat there, he got this odd feeling in the pit of his stomach and it made him feel like throwing up. It got to the point where he opened his mouth, letting his long tongue roll out.

"SIRIUS!"

He looked up at his friend with a glare and a wag of a tale…

_Wait a second! Humans don't have tails!_ Sirius looked behind him to see that he indeed had a tail. A dog tail to say the least. He padded over to the water to see that he was one hell of a dog. Huge with yellow eyes and a long pink tongue, and he was black.

"Well, there goes the arctic wolf theory," James smiled. Sirius turned and barked at his friend before jumping on him and licking James all over the face. James tried to push him away but the dog was just too big.

"LOOK!" Someone was yelling and James tried to look over the big dog to see who had seen the change. It was a first year that was petrified!

"IT A GRIM! I'M GOING DIE!" and with that the boy took off. James was finally able to sit up but Sirius was gone, running away as well.

"Oh bugger!(2)" James muttered as he stood. It was at times like these that he wished he had more control over the matter.

**James ran through the halls asking the painting if they had seen a huge dog run past. The paintings pointed him in the right direction and soon James was able to see the large dog bounding happily down the hall way. He passed Professor McGonagall on his way with James right behind. **

Minerva had to take a double take before she started after them, calling to James to stop, but of course James didn't he had to get that dog out of the castle before someone started asking questions. He decided that he would just have to say that it was his dog. Who had ran away because he missed his master so much. That had to be a likely story and if nothing too bad happened his parents probably wouldn't hear of it.

Sirius on the other hand was having a grand old time; most of the students ran in fear because of the Grim but one girl just shook her head as she watched the three run down the hallway. Soon, Sirius passed Professor Dumbledore, who tried to catch up James but the boy was too fast. Not even Professor McGonagall would stop to talk and so Dumbledore was forced to take chase as well.

Now with three humans on his trail Sirius was beginning to rethink this whole thing. Though, it was fun to make people think that they would die just because they caught site of a Grim. Sometimes people were too superstitious. So, he let his tongue roll out, barked at a second year Slytherin and loped down to the dungeons.

"HEY YOU! GET BACK HERE!" James yelled at the dog.

"POTTER! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" Professor McGonagall yelled.

"PROFESSOR MINERVA! AREN'T WE A BIT OLD TO RUN?"

As they continued on in their chase, Sirius picked up a sent that he knew. All right, so this was new to him but he would always know who smelled like what. James smelled like the Quidditch field, Peter smelled like pumpkin pasties and Remus smelled of lavender. (No, he wasn't queer, he just noticed these sorts of things.)

That was when Sirius stopped in his tracks, growling and showing his teeth. He had lost the three behind him but he hardly cared if he were caught now. He had to save his friend who had been hexed and pushed against the wall. Remus apparently had been ambushed, for he also had a blackened eye.

"What is a dog doing in Hogwarts," the leader asked, he wasn't any Slytherin that Sirius had taken notice off. At least it was Lucius or Snape.

"We'll have fun hexing it," another strange kid said, grinning maliciously. Remus took one look at the dog as it barked and snarled at the group. He had thought that the dog had smelled him out and had figured out that Remus was a Werewolf, but it wasn't being threatened by him. The dog lashed out with its claws and swiped at a wand that was being pointed at it.

"Nasty booger(3)!" one of the kids said.

"Who cares, get it!" the leader yelled, but at the moment, James came upon them, saw that both of his friends were in trouble and hexed the group at once. It was a curse that the Marauders had came up with, it made the group break out with green and blue boils that sang and oozed and itched like mad.

"James!" Remus called out to his friend.

"Remus? What happened?"

"Ambushed, they tried to beat me up when that dog arrived," Remus said with a wink.

"Oh yeah?" James asked as the teachers arrived.

"Mr. Potter, what is the meaning of this?" McGonagall asked as she pointed to the dog, that started to lick her hand.

"Professor, Padfoot saved the day! Those Slytherin's were beating up on pour, unfortunate Remus again!" James said as he took his friend into his arms and started to cry. Remus gave him a look of confundlement (4).

"Is this true?" her gaze went to Remus who just nodded as James cried into his shoulder.

"PLEASE DON'T DIE ON ME!!" James wailed in his depression.

"You boys have some explaining to do," Dumbledore said as he directed the group of Slytherin's to the stairs; "Wait for me in my office," he directed. The group slinked past the wailing James, the lapping dog (who was being petted by Minerva) and Remus who was still wondering what was going on.

"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore turned his twinkling eyes on the crying boy, "Why don't you take Mr. Lupin and Padfoot to the hospital wing, then you can send the dog home," Dumbledore said. James nodded, sniffing and crying as he gently led Remus down the hallway. All the while telling Remus it would be all right and that he would live.

Padfoot licked Minerva on the cheek before he padded off after them .

Once they had gotten to the infirmary, Sirius was able to change back to his human form. He was laughing his butt off as he and James explained to Remus what had happened. Remus hadn't been injured much and so he was given a weak pain numbing potion.

"That was ridiculous," Remus rolled his eyes as he referred to James and his crying.

"What? It worked didn't it?"

"I suppose," Remus shrugged.

* * *

Harry James Potter was pushed out of the book as the clock struck nine. It was only Saturday and so there was no point in going to bed early. That was why he had decided to see if there was anything else about the book that he didn't know. It seemed, that he could also see the memories of the Marauders as they could see his, Hermione's and Ron's.

It was a neat trick and Harry couldn't help but laugh as well. His father did the strangest crap to get out of a tight situation. Harry never was able to turn the water works on like that and he doubted he could. Either way, he put the book away as Neville tromped into the room.

"How was the detention?" Harry asked.

"Not good, I wish Snape would just see a Grim and keel over," Neville muttered as he got ready for bed.

"Wow, that's harsh coming from you," Harry muttered.

"He made me…do the worst thing ever!"

"What is that?" Harry asked.

"Dissect a toad!"

Right, Harry had forgotten that Neville owned a toad called Trevor who liked to hop off in a game of hide and go seek. He shook his head.

"Sorry Nev, Snape will get his though," Harry promised.

"Yeah? By whom?" Neville asked.

"The Terrible Trio of course" Harry rolled his eyes.

"Easy for you to say, don't they get revenge when it suits them?"

"You never know, you could ask," Harry rolled over as the light went out.

"How do I do that?" Neville wondered out loud.

A/N – I suppose that there is a slight plot now. I know that it wasn't much of a prank in this, but it was the only idea that I had. So call it an intermission!

Ta,

Dizzy

1 -- a reference to Star Wars. that part in Empire where Han and Chewie are visiting Luke and they Han say's "Laugh it up Furball"

2 -- a Captain Jack Sparrow refference. Only because I tried to count how many times he say's bugger. I think about sixteen. But I ain't sure.

3 -- I call people this when I can't swear and call them "Jack ass" and "Bastard" lol

4 -- My boss came up with a word 'Confunkled' and so I just change it to work. It means Puzzlement/ Confusion.


	10. Terrible Trio Thwarted part 1

**The Marauders Guide to Hogwarts**

**Part 10 – The Terrible Trio Thwarted (part 1)**

On such a day as today, with the stormy clouds, the rain drizzling down in dizzy aspects of a Quidditch player at work and lighting thundering over head, one might think that those who resided in the castle would be dazzlingly gloomy as well.

As much as that might have been the case, Harry was having a magnificent time telling Ron and Hermione about the memory he had seen about Sirius and James. He also told them that Neville wanted some help (or at least wanted to hire them) to get back at Snape. He explained that Snape had made him take a toad apart and that it hurt him to do so because he was thinking of Trevor and all the horrible things that could happen to said toad if it ever made its way into such a mad mans hands.

"That is simply horrible," Hermione moaned. She loved animals, even toads. She was a kind hearted girl, if a bit bossy at times.

"So, what should we do?" Ron asked.

"I'm not sure, I think Snape may be on to us, have you noticed how he's always sleeking around?"

"No," Ron shrugged.

"Hopeless," Hermione sighed.

"Right, anyway…"

"We need to be careful now, Snape may be watching the entrance," Hermione said.

"Oh bloody brilliant," Harry sighed in frustration.

* * *

It could be said that you couldn't keep a good Gryffindor down; well, not for long anyway. And time after time Harry had proven this right and so he had came up with a plan. Well, he had to fight fire with fire and so he called on Dobby.

Dobby was just too happy to help. He bowed to Harry and asked what he could do for the Greatest Wizard Alive. Harry wondered if Dobby could get rid of Snape, make it so that the blood thirsty wanna-be-Death-Eater could just leave him be.

Dobby bowed said he had the greatest thing and disappeared. Harry didn't realize how Dobby took this one task to heart and had cursed the greatest wizard as he left.

The curse made it known to all that Harry James Potter was off limits. The first time Snape tried to get onto Harry he disappeared in a snap. Which was odd since no one could disapperate or Apparate inside Hogwarts. The second time this spell made it known was when Malfoy and his cronies were about to curse Harry.

Draco Malfoy was just uttering the words when the curse upon Harry made him, Crab and Goyle disappear. Harry and his friends took a look at each other before they ran off down the hallway.

Hermione stopped them as they came upon the carpet of dancing hippos. The Room of Requirement was exactly what they needed. They entered the room with a sigh.

"What the blimey hell was that all about?" Ron asked.

"How am I supposed to know?" Harry snapped back.

"Stop fighting," Hermione ordered them. Harry muttered he was sorry to Ron for snapping at him.

"What do you think happened?" Ron asked Hermione.

"As we all know, no one can Apparate or Disapperate inside Hogwarts, which means that it has to be a stronger spell," Hermione said.

"Well, what am I going to do about potions?"

"If Snape disappears for good, who gives any codswallop?" Ron pointed out.

"Right, lets see if this will wear off or anything, maybe its something that Dumbledore wanted to try out," Hermione suggested.

"I hope so, I'll never get through potions at this rate!" Harry sighed. Hermione could only shrug since she wasn't sure what it was that made Snape, Malfoy and is gang disappear like that.

* * *

That day at lunch, Harry notice that Snape and Dumbledore weren't even at the head table. He did notice Professor McGonagall give him a look, but he just shrugged at her. He really didn't do anything this time. He just wanted Snape off his back.

"Harry!" Hermione snapped him back into reality.

"Yes?"

"What were you thinking about?" she asked.

"Nothing, er – so – where do you think Snape could have gone?"

"I won't know till I know what sort of magic it is," Hermione shrugged.

"That's what it always comes down too. Knowing what it is and what it isn't,"

"Don't you want to know how to do something?"

"It depends on what it is, if I thinks its hopeless, than no," Harry shrugged.

"Than…what do you think about what you father and his friends did?" she asked, putting her fork down.

"I think…they were just trying to have fun. That's like Quidditch to me. Flying on my broom, even if it is in the middle of a storm is fun to me. Just like how Dad and Remus and Sirius played their tricks," Harry replied.

"True, just like how I love to look things up in books,"

"And how I like to play Wizard Chess," Ron put in.

"Right, it was all in fun," Harry shrugged.

"Then I am going to the library to have some fun," Hermione said as she stood. Harry nodded her off.

"I think Ron and I will engage in a bit of a game," Harry said. With that, Hermione left them to finish their meal.

* * *

On Tuesdays, the Gryffindor's had a two hour period of no classes whatsoever. This found the boys in the dorm with an hour and a half of time to kill that they didn't need to spend on homework for they had it all done.

This was also where most of their time was spent talking about various pranks. However, this time around they couldn't keep their minds on their pranks, it was about the DPS (Disappearing Professor Snape) situation. Really, it was very odd, especially for Hogwarts and the Terrible Trio had plenty of odd adventures while at school.

Battling Giant sized snakes, and Ego Blustering Professors aside – Harry figured that it had been very Voldemort-free this past term, but he knew it wouldn't last and maybe that was why he and his friends played their tricks and pranks on the student body. Just having fun made your other problems look little in comparison.

"We're thwarted," Ron said as he watched Hermione enter the dorm. They had fifteen minutes before they went over their homework once again and then go to class.

"There you are, I checked the great hall to make sure you two weren't grazing," she said.

"Did you find anything out?" Harry asked.

"Yes and no, first I found out that only two sorts of magic can do what your curse is doing to Professor Snape. And two, I couldn't get permission from Professor McGonagall to check that particular book out," Hermione sat down on the couch.

"Hermione, there are other ways to get a book," Ron smiled at them.

* * *

A/N – Okay, I know that nothing much happened in this. But I SWEAR that there will be a prank. The characters just didn't want to work for me and so I got a Phylosophical!Harry and a quiet!Ron. Really, the only person who even tried to stay in character was Hermione. Out of the three of them, she really is the easiest. I did think that her use of the word 'Graze" was rather splendid! Anyway, hope you liked it. There will be a prank! 


	11. Terrible Trio Thwarted Part 2

**The Marauder's Guide to Hogwarts**

**Part 11 - The Terrible Trio Thwarted (Part 2)**

She had never, ever, ever done this before. The halls of Hogwarts were different at night with moon light shifting in through windows, the snores of the subjects in the portraits and the foot steps of a rather furious Professor Snape. Hermione, had to wait for long moments as the Professor prowled about her, trying to find out if a student with an invisible cloak was about. Thankfully he had missed and had gone on his way after moments of staring at her.

A swish of her wand and the soft clicking of the lock and she was inside the library. No one was about but she did not breathe easily just because this fear had been dispelled. The library was slightly illuminated by sconces on the walls. Hermione tip toed her way to the Forbidden Section of the library. The gate opened just as easily for her.

Muttering to herself, she found the book in question. She looked about her before she took off the invisibility cloak. From her book bag she brought out a school book that was about the same size and weight as the Forbidden book. Another flick of her wand and this book took on the cover of the Forbidden and the Forbidden looked like an innocent potions book. She grabbed the potions book and put the fake one back in the empty slot on the shelf before her.

This done, she threw the cloak over he head again and made sure that her stolen book was safe in the book bag. She would have to safeguard this book. If anyone else found it she was liable to get expelled. And even though she desperately wanted to know what sort of magic was being played on them - she didn't want to get expelled.

- - -

Harry was snoring. The past week had been hard on them all. Ron was tossing about in his bed, talking about belly dancing spiders. Hermione rolled her eyes, teenage boys were such perverts. She woke Ron first, he sat up quickly. Muttering still about spiders.

"What?" he whispered.

"I found out what sort of magic was played on us," Hermione replied.

"Let's wake Harry then," Ron crawled out of bed. It took them longer to wake the Boy-Who-Lived, but in the end they had and they had all gone down to the Common Room in order to talk and not wake anyone. The clock on the mantle struck two in the morning.

"What is it Hermione?" Harry asked, yawning.

She smiled; "It's House Elf Magic Harry,"

"Huh? You mean a House Elf overheard us talking?" Ron asked.

"Exactly,"

Harry and Ron looked at each other and in the next moment a Lumos went on in their heads and at the same time they gasped out; "Dobby!"

"Exactly," Hermione looked proud of herself.

"Well, that makes sense then," Ron shrugged.

"Can we go back to bed now?" Harry asked.

"We have to get Dobby to take the curse off you, Harry," Hermione replied with a roll of her eyes.

"But, why would he curse me with a disappearing Snape?" Harry scratched the back of his head in befuddlement.

"You lummox," Ron smacked Harry in the arm, "What she means is that you saved Dobby from slavery in the Malfoy House Hold, of course he'd curse you,"

"Oh," Harry smacked his forehead.

"I should go and talk to him now," Harry muttered.

"Here is the invisibility cloak, don't get caught," Hermione handed over Harry's cloak. He nodded.

_ _ _

The Kitchen was quiet when he finally arrived. Yawning, he wished he had saved this trip till the morrow when he would be awake. However, the kitchen was cheerful as ever. Most of the Elves were asleep but Dobby was there anyway.

"Oh, its Harry Potter!"

"Dobby, I have to ask you to do something for me, its important," Harry said suddenly. The House Elf looked down in thought, then he nodded and looked up at Harry.

"Can you please make it so that Snape stops disappearing. I'll never get through potions like this. It's not that I don't appreciate it, I honestly do, but it won't help my potions marks," Harry explained.

Dobby sighed as if the whole thing was such a chore and why couldn't Harry just leave it alone. Then he gave Harry a slight look and shook his head.

"What do you mean no?" Harry asked, blinking. Was Dobby crazy!?

"No,"

That was the end of that conversation.

_ _ _

Harry went straight back to bed. He wondered why Dobby had refused to take the curse off. Maybe it wasn't exactly a curse. If it worked on Snape than would it work on Death Eaters? And for that matter…if he couldn't get close to Voldemort what the hell was he supposed to do then?

Tossing and turning. Harry lied awake for the rest of the night.

_ _ _

**Sirius Black yawned. **Full Moon nights were always tiring. His bandages had come undone in his sleep and he was sore all over. James had gotten a blackened eye from Moony and it was only Wormtail that had escaped major injury.

Remus, however - was looking much better. He had dark circles about his eyes and he looked paler than usual, but he was smiling. He wasn't bleeding, he looked happier than he had after the other Full Moon nights.

"I don't know how much to thank you," he shook his head. Sirius just shrugged.

"It was nothing," that from James who was dozing in the chair by the fire. Outside it was snowing. Sirius didn't remember being cold, maybe it was because he was so hairy and had run around for most of the night trying to keep Remus in line. Bloody Werewolves were such a pain in the arse, literally!

Remus got the couch, he was ensconced in blankets and looked to be about to fall back to sleep. Sirius sat in front of the couch, his knees folded before him and his arms encircling the before mentioned limbs. He yawned again.

"Sirius, maybe you should go up to bed," Remus said gently. However, soft snoring answered him. He shook his head and closed his eyes. In moments, he too, was asleep.

_ _ _

Remus woke suddenly. The room was dim, as always. He threw back the moth eaten blankets and pulled on his shoes. In his shirt sleeves he went in search of Sirius Black.

Grimwald Place was as silent as the grave with only him and Sirius occupying the old house. He found him in the kitchen.

"Do you know where we put it?" Remus asked suddenly.

Sirius looked up from his cup of tea to blink blindly at Remus; "Put what?"

"The Marauder's Guide to Hogwarts…"

TBC

A/n - will Remus and Sirius allow the Terrible Trio to keep the book? Or will they support the Trio in their pranking? Whatever is a responsible Remus to do? Find out next time!


End file.
